This morning I didn't want to go to Target. But we had two diapers left. And while I did have plenty of paper towels and duct tape on hand I wasn't about to stoop to those levels.
So I made what I thought was a good decision and went to the gym, which happens to be right next door to Super Target. I had myself a great body pump class. Biceps, triceps, squats and lunges. It was great.
When I picked up the kids from the Kids Club I became preoccupied. Lucy was crying when I walked in. She never cries there. And while I was holding and comforting her I looked over and noticed William's nose was bleeding. Again. He had a bloody nose when he woke up this morning as well. Minnesota + Autumn+ Dry Weather = bloody noses for William.
If I didn't feel like going to Target before the gym, now I really didn't want to go.
But diapers. I needed diapers. So I went.
In the carseats they went for all of two minutes while I whipped the car over to the Target parking lot and out again.
I swung one arm under Lucy's carseat handle and used the other to guide William into the store.
At this point William was going on and on about how he "just wanted to look mommy" at telephones for his birthday present. (The kid saw an iPod touch in a Walmart Ad which resembles my non-i-anything touchscreen cell phone and decided he wanted that for his birthday.)
I walked in to Target and set Lucy's carseat on the floor while I untangled a cart from the stack. I was still listening with one ear to William babble about birthday presents when I was finally able to free a cart. I wheeled it over by Lucy and reached down to grab her carseat to lock it into place in the front seat. That's when the unthinkable happened.
I don't even want to talk about it. Except that I'm posting about it so I guess I have to say it.
I dropped her. Or her carseat, rather. With her in it.
I don't even know how it happened. I keep rewinding the series of events in my mind and I still can't figure out how it happened. I know my arms were feeling a bit Jell-O after my workout so I'm sure that played a part. But who drops their baby?
The seat fell hard to the ground and somehow flipped over so that she was now facing the ground. Still strapped in she was dangling like some sort of amusement park ride.
I gasped and quickly flipped her over and started crying. But not as hard as she was. I tried to undo her buckles so I could pick her up but my hands were shaking too much.
William was still talking and now was trying to quiet his sister by covering her mouth with his hand. He clearly did not understand the severity of what just happened.
I decided I couldn't deal with him at that moment so I tried to get him in the cart to contain him. But again I was shaking too hard and I couldn't find the strength to lift him up.
"Buddy," I said, "Can you crawl into the cart by yourself?"
"Sure, Mommy!"
Bless his heart. He got up there enough so that I could push his bottom up and over. Plop. He was in.
Back to my Lucy girl who was still wailing. I finally got her buckles undone and picked her up and cuddled her close.
Right there, in the middle of the entry way of Super Target, we had ourselves a moment.
Lucy cried. I cried. William gazed around the store oblivious to anything. Shoppers walked in and shoppers walked out and I didn't care who saw us or what they thought.
When her cries settled to just a whimper I pushed the cart with one hand and held Lucy tight with the other. I steered us over to the baby section and found those damn diapers.
So I made what I thought was a good decision and went to the gym, which happens to be right next door to Super Target. I had myself a great body pump class. Biceps, triceps, squats and lunges. It was great.
When I picked up the kids from the Kids Club I became preoccupied. Lucy was crying when I walked in. She never cries there. And while I was holding and comforting her I looked over and noticed William's nose was bleeding. Again. He had a bloody nose when he woke up this morning as well. Minnesota + Autumn+ Dry Weather = bloody noses for William.
If I didn't feel like going to Target before the gym, now I really didn't want to go.
But diapers. I needed diapers. So I went.
In the carseats they went for all of two minutes while I whipped the car over to the Target parking lot and out again.
I swung one arm under Lucy's carseat handle and used the other to guide William into the store.
At this point William was going on and on about how he "just wanted to look mommy" at telephones for his birthday present. (The kid saw an iPod touch in a Walmart Ad which resembles my non-i-anything touchscreen cell phone and decided he wanted that for his birthday.)
I walked in to Target and set Lucy's carseat on the floor while I untangled a cart from the stack. I was still listening with one ear to William babble about birthday presents when I was finally able to free a cart. I wheeled it over by Lucy and reached down to grab her carseat to lock it into place in the front seat. That's when the unthinkable happened.
I don't even want to talk about it. Except that I'm posting about it so I guess I have to say it.
I dropped her. Or her carseat, rather. With her in it.
I don't even know how it happened. I keep rewinding the series of events in my mind and I still can't figure out how it happened. I know my arms were feeling a bit Jell-O after my workout so I'm sure that played a part. But who drops their baby?
The seat fell hard to the ground and somehow flipped over so that she was now facing the ground. Still strapped in she was dangling like some sort of amusement park ride.
I gasped and quickly flipped her over and started crying. But not as hard as she was. I tried to undo her buckles so I could pick her up but my hands were shaking too much.
William was still talking and now was trying to quiet his sister by covering her mouth with his hand. He clearly did not understand the severity of what just happened.
I decided I couldn't deal with him at that moment so I tried to get him in the cart to contain him. But again I was shaking too hard and I couldn't find the strength to lift him up.
"Buddy," I said, "Can you crawl into the cart by yourself?"
"Sure, Mommy!"
Bless his heart. He got up there enough so that I could push his bottom up and over. Plop. He was in.
Back to my Lucy girl who was still wailing. I finally got her buckles undone and picked her up and cuddled her close.
Right there, in the middle of the entry way of Super Target, we had ourselves a moment.
Lucy cried. I cried. William gazed around the store oblivious to anything. Shoppers walked in and shoppers walked out and I didn't care who saw us or what they thought.
When her cries settled to just a whimper I pushed the cart with one hand and held Lucy tight with the other. I steered us over to the baby section and found those damn diapers.
Oh Jenny,
ReplyDeleteI know the feeling...two months ago we were out on our driveway and my little uy was in his Excersaucer. I bumped him slightly and somehow it flipped! Over, on his little head on the pavement.
He was fine, but I cried so hard and felt horrible for a week. It is really rough sometimes.
The Slattery family members will each do one act of charity for you tommorow.
BTW the real horrible mommies never cry.
Tears in my eyes dear friend. How horrible that must have felt. You are not even close to a bad mom. You were just doing what we moms always try to do EVERYTHING all at once.
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear you are all ok.
See you for vino tomorrow.
Sorry it was a rough one Jenny. I hope tomorrow brings better times and less tears.
ReplyDeleteJenny: If it would make you feel better, I could show you three (mostly) normal adults who under my care as children: 1) fell off the ladder of the tall slide at the park, 2) went down the basement stairs in a walker, 3) fell out of the top bunk of a bunkbed, 4) almost drowned, 5)got hit in the head with a shot put . . . well, you get the picture. All you can do is hope nobody calls Social Services.
ReplyDeleteLike your friend said above, "the real horrible mommies never cry."