Boys and Weapons

Last night we took a rare trip as a whole family to Target. It's usually just me or just me and the kids but I needed to return a shirt and we figured we'd use it as an opportunity to get out of the house and pick up some ingredients for dinner. Somehow family shopping trips seem to always have a dash of fun included because they are more relaxed and we don't hold tightly to a schedule like I do when I'm alone.

When our shopping was complete Brian headed for the checkout lanes with both kids and I headed to Guest Services to make my exchange. I finished my task first so while I waited for the rest of my family I perused the Dollar Spot aisles near the exit. Amongst all the cheap back-to-school themed items I spied some foam weaponry on the bottom shelf. Over the top of the aisle I saw Brian and the kids headed my way so I grabbed a sword and playfully jumped out of the aisle with it to surprise William.

I'm pretty sure I saw more delight cross Brian's eyes at my Dollar Spot find than I did in our four-year-old's.

He let go of the cart and went digging through the weapon bin. Swords and maces and ax hammers abounded. In no time I could here grunts of "hoo" and "haw" and chants of "take that" and "take this" as father and son committed themselves to battle right then and there.

Lucy and I sat back out of the line of fire and giggled at their boyish ways.

At one point a middle-aged lady was trying to set her sights on a pocket Webster dictionary but was finding it difficult not to be distracted by the flying sword of my grown husband and his preschool son. She made eye contact with me and that's when I saw it. The ever so brief look of disapproval. I could almost hear the voice in her head shouting, "This is what's wrong with kids these days."

Instead of being the adult and ushering my soldiers out of Target, I just continued to stand back and laugh.

Shortly after the woman decided she best opt out of a one-dollar dictionary, a young dad past us with his newborn baby in tow. He looked at Brian and William and smiled from ear-to-ear no doubt counting down the days until his own son would be old enough to join in such shenanigans.

After a valiant effort at trying to convince me that he absolutely, positively did so need a foam sword, we left without any weaponry in hand.

But after I put Lucy to bed I came downstairs to discover my boys had been hard at work.

A knight in boxers and an undershirt.

And that's just the thing about boys.  You can refuse to buy them all the guns, swords and daggers in the world.  But all it does is encourage them to find ways to make their own.

We can debate the issue of letting boys play with weapons until the end of time.  But in the end boys [and men!] will be boys.  And I don't think I'd want them any other way.

The Help, The Chiropractor and The Whining

This past week has been, um, challenging.  We've all (minus Brian) been a bit under the weather with allergies/sore throat/ear infections/sinusitis that we just can't seem to shake day after day.  It's doubly difficult when we're experiencing some of the best weather of the entire summer and we see all of our neighbors out riding bikes and pushing strollers well into the evening hours.

The kids are EXTRA whiny and while I've tried to wake up with a patient smile each morning, a person can only take so much, you know?  Lucy, I think, had an ear infection that came and went on its own with the help of our friend, Motrin, in the evening.  But William started complaining about his ear this morning and he will likely get a little help from antibiotics as his ear infections tend to be very severe.  Either that or his pain tolerance is a lot lower than Lucy's.  I wouldn't doubt the latter.  His White Boy Syndrome that plagued him as a newborn just may have followed him into his preschool years.  Chalk another one up for female strength!

I have gotten some whining relief in the evening though thanks to Brian who has pulled his weight in dinner and bedtime duty two nights in a row as I headed out of the house.  I deal with it all day but I feel so guilty when he has to deal with it alone for a couple hours.  Why is that?  Are all moms like this or are some better at letting go and letting their spouse hold the reigns?

So anyway, I got out of the house two nights this week.  Exciting!

First I went to see a prenatal chiropractor and I had meant to write an entire post about this ah-mazing experience but with all the whining (Have I mentioned there's been a lot of whining around here?) the week got away from me.

So 31 weeks into my pregnancy and I finally get around to doing something about that pesky sciatica that's been the only thorn in my side this whole pregnancy.  When it was over I asked myself, "WHAT THE HECK HAD I BEEN WAITING FOR?!"  I really did use capital letters in my head.  Because seriously, this lady was incredible.  She did all this special stuff to accommodate my massive belly and she popped and cracked and aligned and adjusted and oh my!  It was the first time in months I didn't wince when I got out of my bed in the morning.  Or when I lifted my leg to put my pants on.  Seriously.  It was all this little stuff that caused enormous amounts of shooting pain that I just thought I had to live with this whole time.

Last night we went for a family walk after dinner with both kids strapped down in the double stroller (because of all the whining, remember?) and at one point I told Brian that we could walk faster than our current pace.  He gave me a puzzled look.  For weeks now I have had to plead with him to slow down as I waddled behind him.  Did you know waddling is actually horrible for you during pregnancy?  I always thought it was just the natural way for the body to accommodate the belly.  But now I feel so much taller and straighter.  I feel I have more control over how to carry my belly instead of my belly bringing my whole body down.

So anyway, enough praise singing about chiropractors, or prenatal ones at least.  All I have left to say is, if you're pregnant and you've got back pain, don't let it rule your life.

Next up?  The Help!  Have you seen it?  Well, wait.  First, have you read the book?  If you haven't read the book then you should run to your local library and get thee self on the waiting list to check it out.  I read it last summer and since then all I've been doing is trying to find another book that can compare to its goodness.  None can.

So after you've taken exactly one day to read the book, because that's how fast you'll want to read it, you should then grab a girlfriend or two who have also read the book and run out to your local movie theater.  This is the only movie that I can think of that actually does the book justice.  (Note that I am not a Twilight or Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings fan so I can't speak to those series.)  And as a bonus your husband will enjoy it too.  While the cast and storyline are predominately female based, it's not so chic-flicky that your husband will roll his eyes.  It's a very well-told story.

To recap:  Chiropractor?  Go visit one.  The Help?  Go read it/see it.  And whining.  Lots of whining.

Yogurt Giveaway!

Yogurt is a staple in our house. When we've run out of it the kids ask for it, beg for it and then demand we go to the store to buy more.

And I totally agree with them.

The health benefits of yogurt are endless. It's an excellent source of calcium and protein. Which is a good thing because (a) my kids both show a slight intolerance to lactose so we don't get all of our calcium from drinking milk and (b) we don't eat a lot of meat around here and therefore need protein from other sources. Because of it's live cultures, yogurt also helps promote intestinal health and can help ward off yeast infections. Ladies, if you've ever had one of these you will join me in singing the praises of yogurt!

Another benefit of yogurt is that it is extremely gentle on little tummies which is why Stonyfield's YoBaby Yogurt one of the first foods I feed my babies after starting a few fruits and veggies. YoBaby is a bit more expensive than other brands but I like the peace-of-mind in knowing that the yogurt is both organic and has been specifically created for ages six months and up.

Have you gotten on the Greek yogurt bandwagon yet?  Both Brian and I have joined and we love it!Stonyfield now offers the Greek option in their Oikos yogurt.

Brian is especially a big fan of Greek yogurt because as an aspiring body builder (only joking, but seriously this guy can throw up some weight) he likes how much protein he can get in just one cup -- nearly 20 grams.  I challenge you to find another source of so much protein that can also boast low fat and low carbs.  And as a hungry pregnant mama, I love Greek yogurt because one cup fills me up and keeps me from having to snack more often during the day.  You guys, pregnant hunger is nothing to fool around with!

My only critique of Stonyfield is that I wish their yogurt contained about 30-40% less sugar.

Want a chance to try Stonyfield's YoBaby and Oikos yogurt for FREE?

Leave me a comment answering the following question (or anything yogurt-related): How much yogurt does your household consume and what are your favorite brands?

One person will win coupons for a FREE 4-pack of YoBaby Organic Yogurt and a FREE 5.3 oz cup of Oikos Organic Greek Yogurt.

Contest ends Friday, August 26 at 11:59 p.m. Central time.

Good luck!  Oh, and if you don't win, check out Stonyfield's website for coupons.

*Stonyfield provided me with product samples for review purposes and also with coupons for a giveaway.  Opinions are all my own.

A Conflict of Instincts

I've become a lot more crunchy since becoming a mom.

We don't pop pills for everything.  In fact, we hardly even use painkillers around here.  We don't treat ear infections unless the pain becomes unbearable.  I try my hardest to forgo formula opting to breastfeed all my babies until they are at least a year old.  I choose natural birth options.  We eat whole foods and I try to buy organic when our budget allows.  And we almost never go to the doctor except for routine check ups.

I think that's the biggest change in me.  I've learned to trust my gut more than anything a doctor tells me.

But sometimes that aversion to Western medicine can work against me.

For the past year William has had seven separate episodes of severe fatigue and vomiting.  The symptoms usually begin early in the morning and he is completely bedridden until about 1:00 or so when he finally creeps out of his room and is 100% better save for a bit of weakness from not eating.  You may even remember me mentioning a few of these episodes in past posts.  I had a number of hunches as to what the cause might be: everything from being overly hungry from not eating dinner the night before to being overly tired from too much activity and not enough sleep.

When he is in the middle of one of his episodes it is extremely scary because he is so lethargic and non-responsive and so just not himself.

But the problem is that when he emerges out of an episode he is completely back to his normal healthy self.  So it's easy for me to forget how scared I was.  Which is why I haven't seen or talked to a doctor about it.  Until now.

I finally made an appointment with a pediatric gastroentrologist after he had two episodes in July.  We went to our first consult appointment last week which left both William and myself in tears.  William, because they had to take three vials of blood.  Not. Fun.  And me, because I left the clinic with dates and times for three more appointments of tests.  One of which requires complete anesthesia.

I understand why the doctor ordered all these tests.  But as his mom and his medical advocate I can't shake this feeling that he's being poked and prodded all for not.  That this is a whole lot of nonsense for an otherwise healthy kid.

On the other hand, if I decide not to do the testing, I feel negligent.  Because what if they do find something.  I can't let my ego or my "I-know-my-own-kid-better-than-you" attitude stand in the way of his well-being.  What if this one time my motherly instincts are totally off and there really is something wrong with him?

And then there's the middle ground.  If all of his preliminary tests come back normal how long do I let them keep testing?  So far all his blood work has come back normal.  Tomorrow we have an ultrasound and UGI scheduled.  And then in September he has an endoscopy scheduled.  This is the test where he'll need anesthesia.  Which means he'll need a pre-op sign off from his regular physician.  Which all just seems so serious.

If none of those tests provide answers then the doctor wants to talk about doing an MRI to see if anything is going on in his brain.  And that's where I feel like I might need to draw the line.  It's just so much radiation for a four-year-old.  And that doesn't even include the million and one X-rays he had as a newborn.

But again, I get this guilty feeling if I don't allow them to do everything possible to ensure he's a healthy kid.

Brian, as always, is the voice of reason on this one.  Ensuring me that it is not normal for these vomiting/fatigue episodes to happen to an otherwise normal four-year-old.  That putting up with a little poking and prodding now might save him from ever having to go through an episode again.

Deep down I know he's right.  But the nagging feeling still persists like a damn hangnail.

I'm hoping, if nothing else, that when these tests come back normal, like I'm sure they will, that I will at least have peace-of-mind in his well being.  That I will be assured this is just some fluke that he will outgrow in no time.

Does anyone know where I'm coming from?  Or am I over-analyzing?  Encouragement and advice are appreciated!  Oh, and prayers too.  Prayers are always the best source for calm.

Discovered

This summer I have found that showering is most efficient for me if it happens in the middle of the afternoon. The reasons being are:

1. It's been so hot and humid this summer that any benefit of a shower is completely lost come ten o'clock after chasing the kids outdoors or inside my non-central-air-conditioned home.

2. Lucy is napping.

3. We usually have nowhere to be in the late afternoon hours so I can let my hair air dry instead of blasting hot air from my hairdryer on my already hot body. (Haha! I said "hot body." Brian is going to love that double meaning.)

So, after lunch our routine goes like this. I put Lucy to bed. William reads his books for one hour in his room while I do work on the 'puter. When the one hour is up he comes down stairs and I let him play on pbskids.org while I run upstairs to shower.

Well it seems pbskids.org has maybe bored him just bit after so many days because while searching for a particular photograph in my archives the other day I discovered that he taught himself how to use the webcam and all the fun extras that come with it. See photos below. There was also a video. I won't show it here because it was more than five minutes long. But Brian and I almost wet our pants watching it.

Seven Years: What We Did Right

On Sunday Brian and I will celebrate our seven-year wedding anniversary.  They call this the seven-year-itch.  Bored.  Unhappy.  Discontent.  Unfulfilled.  Under-appreciated.  They say all those feelings start rearing their ugly heads by the time you're seven years in to a marriage.  But Brian and I have found that to be completely untrue.  For us, anyway.  And yes, I talked with him about it first to confirm he really feels this way.  He does. And I didn't really have to ask him to know the truth.

Looking back, here are the top 10 reasons the Nash union is stronger than ever.

1. We genuinely like each other.  If I weren't married to him, I'd be seeking out his friendship anyway.  He's a fun and funny person to be around.  But he's sensitive and a good-listener too.

2.  We're almost never jealous.  Of each other or of people of the opposite gender we might befriend.  I know this is a controversial one.  Common marital advice says you shouldn't open yourself up to a serious friendship with someone of the opposite sex.  But both Brian and I can list good friends that are of the opposite gender.  For us it works.  And it really just boils down to trust.

3. S-E-X.  I'm an old-fashioned lady so I don't like talking about this in a public forum.  But the truth is, if you don't do it or don't do it often enough, there's nothing unique that distinguishes your union from mere roommates.

4. We have shared interests.  Some of these were apparent right away and others were developed over time as we came to love or appreciate the interests of each other.  Beer.  Coffee.  College football.  Movies and television.  Travel.  Music.  Fun in the sun.  Food.  We get excited about doing all these things and seek out activities that let us do them together.

5. We communicate with inside jokes.  Brian and I have an inside joke for almost every memorable experience we've had.  We also have a multitude of pet names we call each other.  It brings laughter into our relationship and gives us a feeling of exclusivity.

6. We have a shared faith.  I'm not going to lie.  Brian and I are not the type of couple who prays together.  Maybe we should be but thus far it hasn't been for us.  That said, we still do lots of things that connect us in our Catholic faith.  We go to church every week without fail.  We like going to adoration together and sometimes confession too.  When we make decisions we always try to tie it back to Catholic teaching.  And we always keep each other in check when we feel the other isn't following their spiritual path to the best of his/her ability.

7. Our marriage has a higher priority than our children.  Throughout the day I often shush my kids or say, "Just a minute" with a tinge of guilt.  But I never feel this way when I'm talking to Brian and one of the kids interrupts us.  "I'm talking to Daddy right now, I'll be with you in a second."  I think this is the best gift we've given our children.  It makes them feel secure in our family unit and it gives them a good foundation of what to expect and how to act in their own marriages some day.  By putting your marriage first, you're simultaneously putting your children first too.

8. We spend a lot of time together.  Sure, I have girls nights and trips away by myself.  And yes, he has happy hours and bachelor parties.  But these nights away are few and far between.  I look forward to 6 o'clock when his car pulls in the driveway.  And Saturday and Sunday are all about family affairs.  We are together more often than we're not.  And when we're not it's always a countdown until we're reunited again.

9. We know each other's love language.  I think it should be a requirement that every married person read The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman.  We have a tendency to show love for our spouse in the way that we want to be loved.  But your spouse's love language is often very different from your own.  Ever since we read this book and realized each other's love language, it's been easy to correct a path toward being unfulfilled or under appreciated.

10. I go to bed angry.  Sometimes.  After an unresolved argument I can hold a mean grudge.  No one knows this better than Brian and I readily admit it as one of my biggest faults.  But I've found that arguing in circles until we're both blue in the face usually doesn't lead to any sort of a good outcome.  But after a night of sleep I find I can usually wake with a new sense of perspective.  It doesn't mean I've forgotten everything but it usually means I can communicate my position in a more calm, loving and clear way.

Bonus Item: We say the words.  We don't underestimate the power of saying "I love you."  Off to work, before bed, after a phone call, in a text message.  We say these words tens of times a day.

My biggest lesson learned thus far: I will never badmouth Brian or talk about an unresolved argument in an attempt to get people on my side.  I did this once early in our marriage and it is still one of the biggest regrets I have today.  You still may find me playfully complaining about a pet peeve I have about him but it will always been done in an endearing way.  The married couples I most admire all have one thing in common: They brag about their spouse to others.  I want to be like that.

Things we're working on: We're not perfect.  No marriage is.  So in order to demystify the idea that everything is coming up roses over here, I'll let you in on one of our struggles.  It has to do with serving each other.  Often, after a long, grueling day of many butt-wiping sessions and lots of whining, I'll take out my frustrations on Brian.  He got to be at the office all day.  He got to talk to real, live adults.  He didn't change a single poopy diaper.  And he didn't have to think about what was for dinner.  I need to do a better job at realizing this is my vocation.  This is how I'm called to serve our family.  His calling is different and he, too, likely gets just as frustrated from time to time.

What things have you done right in your marriage?  What lessons have you learned and what are you striving to do better?

No Kids Allowed

A few days ago I linked to this video story featured on the Today Show.  Go ahead, watch the video.  I'll wait here.  (By the way, are you following me on Twitter?  Why the heck not?  I'm @mamanash, of course.)

In case you didn't watch the video, the basic gist is that a Pennsylvania restaurant has decided to ban children under the age six from dining there.  The restaurant owner says the decision came after many patron complaints.

I've been wanting to write about this story for a while now but my head is conflicted.

On the one hand I am not the type of person who makes a habit out of bringing my children to fine dining establishments.  I don't think they are old enough to appreciate a $15/plate dinner and they're usually in bed around the time I would set a reservation for these higher end establishments.

Only a handful of times have we ever brought the kids to an upscale restaurant and, to be honest, it went beautifully.  I remember on one occasion dining out for Brian's birthday at our favorite downtown restaurant with William when he was around 2-years-old.  He was so much fun that we got compliments from the wait staff and others seated near by.  (I say fun because he didn't sit there like a silent obedient statue.  He spoke and ate and did all the things adults do.  But he wasn't a crying, hysterical mess either.)

We've actually found that our kids are more well-behaved at any restaurant than they are on any given Sunday at church.  Can I get an amen on this from other parents?

And let's be honest here.  There's really no badly-behaved child.  Only inconsiderate parents.  Right?  Every time one of my kids acts up out in public it's usually on me.  I'm the one who's kept them out past their nap, too close to lunch or until they are bored to tears.  And if it isn't one of those reasons it usually means I haven't done a good enough job at setting up expectations or teaching self-discipline.  I say this with the utmost humility as I am currently the parent to a tantrum-prone two-year-old daughter.

Don't get me wrong, I do think there's room for adult only events and places.  I, for one, have never brought one of my children to a wedding.  Not because I think they would be dreadful there but because I want to converse with friends and family I haven't seen in some time without worrying about where my child is.  And they usually have more fun with a sitter anyway.  (My kids LOVE babysitters.)

I also enjoy the occasional night out with my husband.  We talk for hours without disruption and it brings back blissful memories from our dating and pre-children years.  BUT, and here is why my head is conflicted, I have never, ever been offended if the party sitting next us has a child with them.  Even if that child is being disruptive.

And I think that's what gets me about this story.  The tone is all off.  You see signs banning cigarettes and hand guns from restaurants.  But children?  That likens them to some sort of a toxin or danger.  One woman interviewed in the tape even said she felt assaulted by disruptive children in restaurants.  Assaulted?!

What has happened to our society that children have become second-class citizens?  And I mean that quite literally.  On Mesaba airlines children are now banned from first class.

There can't be hope for our future if children are reduced to merely an accessory that some people choose to have and others not.

There can't be hope for our future if children are treated in pre-Civil Rights Act ways when you wouldn't be hard-pressed to find someone feeling assaulted because they had to dine next to a black/gay/Muslim person.  (And maybe that still happens today.  But I like to live in my naive rainbows and unicorns world and hope that it doesn't.)

Somehow we've forgotten children are little people too.  Somehow we've forgotten that we were all children at one time.  And what a sad place this would be if it became child-segregated.

Certainly this restaurant owner can make his own rules as it is a privately-owned establishment.  And certainly I would advocate for parents using discretion when bringing their children with them anywhere.

But somehow the whole nature of the story leaves a bad taste in my mouth.  And maybe even a little concerned about where we're headed as a society.

Tell me what you think.  Am I way off base?

Off The Top of My Head

This morning I was thinking I could start a whole new blog consisting only of lists. Just short tidbits of what's going on in my life and in my head. I have a feeling that's pretty poor and rather lazy writing. But it does get the job done doesn't it?

I have a longer, more controversial, post forming in my head. But it's still in its infancy. (I could write a whole other post entirely on how I come up with post ideas and where I get my inspiration.) So while I wait for that idea to mature, here are the top seven voices in my head trying to get out.

1. Good bye wretched t-ball, hello swimming lessons. We started yesterday, despite some sprinkles, and go every day now for two weeks. I have to tell you, I kind of love it. We get up and dressed early. I grab my homemade iced coffee and we head to the local outdoor pool. Lucy sits in her stroller and eats crackers and is mesmerized by all the other kids, especially the dive team. (She did ask quite a few times if she could go swimming but so far no meltdowns when I tell her she has to wait until next year.) I think what I like best is that there's no blasted sand to get in shoes and make hands all dirty. But that's just me and my anal ways.

2. After much deliberation and persuading from Brian, I finally broke down and purchased a smart phone. I never thought I needed one since I'm home all day and always within distance of the computer. But the computer is stationary and I'm finding that doesn't always work for me. The phone travels with me around the house, outside, to the store, and so I'm able to be much more communicative on email, Facebook and Twitter. I'm hoping these instant interactions will all help with this here little blog. More on that in #4.

Although I was tempted, I did not get an iPhone. I trusted Brian and went with an Android. He tells me that's where the market is headed and I trust him in all things business tech related. Every day I tell him some cool new use I found with the phone and ever day he makes me repeat, "You were right!"

So far I haven't paid for a single app. And I'm not really interested in doing so. I just want the basics. I want to check my email, write a shopping list, look up a recipe, reserve a Redbox rental. I think the best part of the whole deal is that my monthly mobile bill actually went down $10 thanks to a super cool rep at the AT&T store. How's that for affirmation?

3. After a series of unfortunate outcomes in an attempt to make my own ice cream I finally did my due diligence and read all the instructions carefully and followed them precisely. OH. MY. GOODNESS. Have you ever made your own ice cream? Incredible. That is all.

4. Last Thursday night I had the sincere pleasure of meeting up with fellow blogger and friend Stephanie from MetropolitanMama.net. After corresponding for more than two years it was surreal to finally meet her face-to-face. I kept saying it was like Internet dating for bloggers.

We talked for hours about everything from childbirth to traveling the country with her family to teaching our four-year-olds to read. Stephanie is currently spending a year traveling the country with her husband and two little girls via RV. Read more about their Give Every Day adventure here.

I think what I'll take away most from my evening with Stephanie was her desire to invoke the value of my blog to me. She gave me a renewed sense of what it means to be a blogger and to have a loyal following. Too often I brush off this space as just something I do for fun. But she made me realize I'm much bigger than that. When someone does that for you, without anything in it for them, that's the essence of a true friendship. Thank you, Stephanie!

5. Public Service Announcement: While waiting to take a left turn at a stoplight it is quite appreciated, encouraged even, to pull all the way out into the middle of the intersection. This allows room for the cars going straight to pass you on the right and it also allows the car behind you to turn left with you when the light turns yellow.

Thank you for your cooperation in this matter. Moving right along.

6. Ever since Brian started his new job and we moved off his dreadful old health care plan and on to a much more reasonable plan, I've been making appointments like crazy. Dentist for both the kids. (Neither has ever been!) Routine physical for Brian. (It's been since high school!) A cranio check-up for Lucy. (She's two years post surgical!) And a consult with a pediatric gastroentrologist for William. (More on the need for this later.)

I can now schedule all these with just a minimal copay instead a million dollar deductible. OK so our old deductible wasn't that much, but darn near it. I can't decide if this experience makes me more or less in favor of government health care.

7. We took the kids to the horse races on Sunday. It was hot and humid and we needed something that offered both indoor and outdoor options. I know this sounds like a strange thing to do as a family but the whole setup is quite kid-friendly. I only wish it wasn't so busy the day we went. There was some sort of breast cancer event which brought out a lot of ladies in pink.

We didn't gamble away the kids' college funds but we did put a couple bucks here and there on some gut-feeling horses and we let William pick some of his own based on his favorite-sounding names (i.e. "Loaded Gun" -- such a boy). He thought that was pretty fun and he liked cheering for "his" horse as it neared the finish line.

So there's my list of seven.  Now, tell me yours!